10. The mosquitoes fly as fast as you run.
9. The official rules for a local 5k state that "mosquitoes picking you up, sucking you dry, and then depositing you beyond the finishing line will not result in an official time."
8. You have to wear an oxygen mask- even though you are not under water the relative humidity levels would lead you to believe you were.
7. Illegal immigrants think that you are chasing them.
6. You send your most recent 10k times to a race in a more hospitable climate and they place you in the geriatric division.
5. The wind constantly blows 40 mph-either in your face or at your back-one way you have to lean forward to move, the other way you suffocate.
4. County police stop to check on you.
3. The local division of Border Patrol agents ask you to keep an eye on sector 7 and give you a radio. (see reason #7)
2. The locals look at you like you are on idiot.
1. You just finished your last run in record time...because you were being chased by a Havelina.
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