I grew up believing that once you became a Christian the world took on a rosy hew. I thought I understood that the sun shone brighter, you smiled more, and that the common ailments of our culture could no longer get us down. How wrong I was.
Common Biblical teaching suggests that if we just "act" more Christian, do what Jesus did, and abide by the Golden Rule all will be well with us. How wrong I have found that to be.
God has taken me to a place in my life where all is broken. Nothing makes sense, my life is out of my own control, and no amount of smiling or relying upon the religiousness of my Christianity is going to make me feel better. In fact, I am realizing that once God calls us unto His own the only marked change is within us...not external to us. The external comes after years of sanctification and after He has called us to be home with Him.
One might argue that there is no God; if I accepted Him and experienced no outward change, how real can He be. Well, there is no denying the change that occured within me. Additionally, there is no denying the groanings, the desires, the yearnings of my heart as it changes and grows in to the heart it was created to be.
The very hard part is getting past myself. Allowing the change to take place in my heart. How can I possibly allow my heart and spirit to soften when I am required to operate in an environment that requires me to harden my heart. The answer of course lies in the fact that it is the God of creation that is softening my heart. If He is indeed God of creation, does that not also make him God over the environment that requires me to harden my heart. Of course it does, and therein is the hope.
I understand that the process is a long one. My prayer is that I can hold fast to the Word, study it, work through it, and as I do so, let it work in me.
1 comment:
"there is no denying the groanings, the desires, the yearnings of my heart as it changes and grows in to the heart it was created to be"
Sometimes I think the biggest change that occurs this side of glory is the intensity of the groanings, desires, and yearnings for what was meant to be and what one day will be. I don't 'get better' or more holy and seemingly not more happy. But I get more anxious for glory - my capacity to desire more to groan under sin more deeply and to yearn for longer sips of pure fellowship and joy grows more intense each year. And in that way I know for sure a change has occured. How else would I grow this dissatisfied if I weren't indwelt with the Spirit that confirms with my spirit that I was indeed created for more?
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